Parental Impact on Premarital Sex

April 16, 2010

One of the most hated conversations that parents talk about having with their children is the one about sex. So hated that many parents don't even have the conversation, and if they do, it is mostly about changes in the body due to puberty (Rice & Dolgin, 2008). While this conversation can be difficult, it does not need to be scary. Also, the first time that sex is brought up it should not be when a child is already dating and may already be sexually active.

According to Havard (n.d.), the conversation should actually be several discussions beginning when the child is very young and when he or she starts asking about the names of their body parts. When the child asks for the name of a private body part, the answer should be given the same way as if the child had asked what their nose is called. This shows them that their question was normal. When the child is a little older, the next conversation can be about appropriate behavior in public, such as telling a little boy he should not grab his penis in public (this conversation may have to occur several times). As children are approaching puberty, it is time to discuss the changes that will occur in their body. Hopefully, this open and honest communication will encourage an adolescent to come to their parent with any questions about sexuality.

Research has shown that an open relationship, like the one mentioned, does encourage adolescents to delay the age at which they first have intercourse (Rice & Dolgin, 2008). Also, having a conversation about sex does not increase sexual experimentation. It does, however, increase the chance that if a teen has sex it will be safe sex.

Rules and curfews are definitely a deterrent to early sexuality. Rice and Dolgin (2008) reported that being too strict can have the opposite effect. Other deterrents to early sexuality are a parent’s expectation that their children get a higher education, and the presence of the adolescent’s father, especially if the adolescent is a girl.

Havard, M. (n.d.). Talking to your kids about, ahem, you know what (S.E.X.). Advocates for Youth. Retrieved April 14, 2010. From http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1542&Itemid=206

Rice, F. & Dolgin, K. (2008). The adolescent: Development, relationships, and Culture (12th ed.). Boston: Pearson.